UNITED KINGDOM / AGILITYPR.NEWS / November 12, 2026 / AI is always available, never tired and asks for nothing back. So, it may come as no surprise to learn that the use of AI as a romantic companion or source of relationship advice is becoming more common.

Rea Shahroudi is a London-based psychosexual and relationship therapist. The founder of specialised sex and relationship therapy platform, Intima Therapy, says that what happens next is the telling part. Does talking to AI help you explain how you feel to your partner after a disagreement, or does it make it easier to leave the conversation there?

In a US study of young adults published in May 2026, 56% of regular AI romantic companion users said they wished conversations with their partner were more like conversations with their AI companion. While the survey stopped short of saying the use of chatbots created distance between couples or whether people turned to them because they already felt disconnected, an always available, never tired, and never disagreeable virtual companion could raise questions about what’s missing in the real life relationship, Rea suggests. 

She recommends couples who find that conversations they once had with each other are now happening in a chat window, instead, ask themselves the following three questions:

1.Why is it easier to talk to AI?

“The first thing I would want to explore is what needs the person is meeting with AI that they are not meeting in their relationship,” says Rea. “In what way does AI understand them better? What does understanding mean to them? Could it be validation rather than understanding?”

Finding out your partner has been sharing their intimate thoughts or romantic concerns with a chatbot can be painful, especially if that information isn't being shared with you. Rea says it's important to question why. Could it be that person struggles to ask for what they need? Are you offering advice when your partner just wants to be heard?

“From an attachment perspective, someone who often seeks reassurance from their partner may find comfort in receiving that instant emotional support that AI can provide by being heard and having their nervous system calmed on demand,” she explains. “I suspect that people with an avoidant attachment style, who have less need for closeness, may not rely so much on AI for self-regulation, but find it appealing because it makes no demands and has no expectations, so there is no risk of being engulfed.”

2.Do you feel understood, or do you feel agreed with?

A well-meaning and mostly agreeable AI companion may be very appealing, but it cannot teach us how to give. AI is mainly one-sided: it is here to serve us, and we take from it. Life and relationships are about exchange: give and take. “Being validated is not the same as being understood by another human being,” the therapist notes “Life and relationships are about exchange: give and take.”

After an argument, your partner may remember the same exchange differently. Hearing their version can be uncomfortable, but it gives you both a chance to work out what went wrong.

“Without conflict there is no growth. By ‘conflict’ I do not mean fighting. I mean being able to disagree, understand each other, negotiate and resolve things.”

In experiments published in Science in March 2026, people who received overly agreeable AI responses about an interpersonal conflict became more convinced they were right and less willing to take steps to repair the conflict.

3.How are you using AI when something’s bothering you in your relationship?

“If you’re angry or upset, talking things through with a chatbot can help you work out what you’re feeling and find the words to raise it with your partner,” Rea advises. “It can be a productive way to process emotions and offer a pause in a moment of distress in a way that can be constructive once you initiate a discussion with your partner.

“But if the chatbot has become the only place you feel able to talk about what’s bothering you, that’s a red flag and signals a deeper problem in the relationship. What feels difficult about bringing it up with your partner? Is it that you struggle to ask for what you need or set boundaries? You might expect criticism because that’s what happened last time. Or is it that your partner rarely makes time to talk, or shuts down when the conversation gets difficult?”

For more information, visit intimatherapy.co.uk.